How to Move Forward When You Feel Like You've Messed Everything Up

"I’ve messed everything up. I’m a total, absolute mess."

I’ve spent hours on the phone this week listening to my friend recite a long list of regrets. She walked me through every perceived failure, every wrong turn, and all the ways she feels she’s falling behind. As I listened, I realized she was doing what so many of us do when we feel overwhelmed: she was weaponizing her mistakes against herself. She was trying to shame herself into being better, as if enough guilt would suddenly produce a perfectly organized life.

But you cannot hate yourself into a version of yourself that you love. You cannot punish yourself into productivity.

As I shifted from being the artsy friend to putting on my coaching hat, I realized she was missing the three most vital ingredients to a life well-lived: gratitude, awe, and courage.

I pointed out that she was focusing all her energy on what she lacked rather than the abundance already present. I encouraged her to pause and find awe in the tiny details, like the delicate curve of a tea mug’s handle and how marvelous it is to simply sit and drink from it.

We talked about courage, too. It was incredibly brave of her to take chances, even if the results weren't what she planned. She told me she was ready to shy away from big risks forever and just take the safe choice from now on, but what a shame that would be! To miss out on the adventures of taking a chance is a high price to pay for safety. This feeling of failure doesn't have to define her; it can simply be information, insight into what works and what doesn’t so she can be more strategic next time.

When she finally asked, "Ok, but now what? What do I do?" I nudged her to get her shit together, not by being harder on herself, but by prioritizing her wellness. As I was talking her off the ledge, I realized I was also talking to myself. Aren't we all, at some point, standing in the middle of our own beautiful mess wondering how we got here?

This conversation is what eventually poured out of me and onto the canvas in my latest painting, "Getting My Ducks in a Row."

Behind-the-scenes of Jasleni painting

The Truth About "Getting Your Ducks in a Row"

We’ve been sold this idea that "having it together" looks a certain way: a perfectly organized life, a flawless plan, obedient ducks marching in a straight line. But that’s not what I painted. In my piece, the ducks aren’t perfectly lined up. They’re just present. They are moving. And the woman at the center isn’t frantically chasing them; she’s still. Her eyes are closed, and she’s smiling. She radiates something warm and solar, like someone who has quietly decided to trust herself.

Getting your ducks in a row isn't about perfection; it’s about presence. It’s about slowing down long enough to ask yourself what actually matters. Not what the world is screaming at you to be, but what your body, your gut, and your wisest self are genuinely asking for.

Art as Medicine

There’s a reason I made a painting about this and not a spreadsheet. Art bypasses the part of your brain that loves to argue and catastrophize. It speaks directly to the part of you that already knows the answer. When I sat down to paint this woman—peaceful, unhurried, radiant—I wasn’t just creating something decorative. I was writing myself a prescription. It was a gentle nudge reminding me what it looks like to trust the process.

Art is medicine because it reflects back what we already know to be true but simply need to be reminded of. You don’t have to push past every limit or punish yourself for every wrong turn. What actually works is taking smaller bites, gentler steps, and moving toward your spirit with love.

Your ducks don't have to be in a perfect row. They just have to be yours. And if today all you managed to do was show up, to try, and to notice how beautiful the handle of your mug is, then friend, you are already doing it. That is enough. You are enough.

Now go make something beautiful.

And if you're looking for a little extra guidance, take the free oracle quiz to see what your higher self wants to tell you.

Curious if this piece is available? Visit the shop to see if the original painting has found its home, or explore the available prints and digital downloads.